This column, from the weekly opinion piece MATTER OF FACT, first appeared on BrooklynReporter.com, the Home Reporter and Spectator dated April 17, 2020
While essential workers still head out each day to perform incredibly important work, whether to care for the sick or just keep society moving, the majority of Americans have now been isolating at home and social distancing when outside for about a month. Nobody wants to spend so much time indoors and keep six feet apart from others when outside, but it is imperative that we all stay the course.
We have seen promising signs here in New York, as the rate of new hospitalizations has seemed to slow, but the reminders of how many COVID-19 related deaths occur each day make it clear that we are still in a very bad place and we all need to remain diligent, for our own health, as well as for others.
As we take these drastic steps to collectively lessen how many people contract COVID-19, we need to deal with the mental health ramifications of living in this new state.
I have always felt that everyone should have access to mental health care and take advantage of it, but I freely admit I have never thought much about it for myself. I am generally calm and collected and pride myself on being cool under pressure, but the sheer enormity of what we are dealing with has often felt overwhelming.
Sometimes I feel sadness for friends and family I know who have lost someone to this virus. Sometimes I feel heartbroken for health care workers who are breaking down under the pressure of what they have to contend with. Sometimes I feel angry about the failings that exacerbated how bad this pandemic has hit our country.
But sometimes I have just felt like the world is spinning around me, out of control, often at a time while I am not thinking about anything related to what the coronavirus has done to us. Just writing these words, that physical sensation comes over me.
“As we take these drastic steps to collectively lessen how many people contract COVID-19, we need to deal with the mental health ramifications of living in this new state.”
Though I have certainly had moments in my life where I’ve felt anxiety or pressure or hopelessness or overwhelming grief, I have never experienced some of the feelings I’ve encountered over the past few weeks.
I am a typical, lifelong Brooklynite, but I am also a very hopeful and optimistic person. These are traits that often aren’t associated with the stereotype of a New Yorker, but they apply, in some degree, to most of the New Yorkers I know.
We have faced tragedy as a city before, but being defeated and despondent has never been our reaction. In fact, we New Yorkers typically become defiant and determined in the face of adversity.
But this is different. You can’t proclaim that this virus isn’t going to keep you from living your normal life and what COVID-19 has wrought isn’t something that came down upon us on just one horrific day that we can then commit to rebounding from, going forward.
The uncertainty of it all can be hard to fathom. We don’t know how long this will last or how we will start to get back to normal or how gradually that will take place. Though some are dealing with tragic losses, it is okay to feel bad because you miss going to work or hanging out with friends. Though there are families living in parts of the world right now that are actual warzones, it is okay to feel disappointed if your child will miss graduation.
We cannot help what we feel, but putting things in perspective can often help us realize what we are fortunate to have. As a society, we need to think now about how to cope with all of the psychological effects of this viral pandemic so that we don’t emerge from it with a mental health pandemic.
Lean on those you live with and let them lean on you. Reach out regularly to family and friends, especially those who live alone. We are New Yorkers and the way we must live now is contrary to everything we are about, but just because we can’t all be with each other, doesn’t mean we can’t all be there for each other. We may be separate, but we will still get through this together.
